Welcome to Equestria, Friend
by TehAlphaGamer
Summary: Sick of the conflict in Mexico and upset with his fruitless search for Bill Williamson and Javier Escuella, John Marston heads to Armadillo to rest for a bit. But then, Nigel West Dickens rides in and tells him he found something, dismayed that he will never get to rest, he goes with the eccentric fellow to see he has found a portal, but it quickly sends them to a new place.
1. Chapter 1: Strange New Place

Welcome to Equestria, Friend by TehAlphaGamer

_**NOTE: I do not own rights to either franchises. Red Dead Redemption is owned by Rockstar® and Rockstar San Diego®, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro®. Used without permission.**_

_**Chapter One: Strange New Place**_

John sat on the bed, shaking his head. He had been swindled and captured by the Mexican Army, and had otherwise been hopping over the fence between the army and the resistance. All he wanted to do, was rest.

He got up from the bed, and looked at his map, he checked through it. _I suppose goin' to and staying in Armadillo for a few days can't hurt... _the bounty hunter thought to himself. He smiled, he walked into his closet and threw on his duster coat, he put on his hat, grabbed his weapons and cash, and walked outside.

He began walking ahead, a nearby woman waved and exclaimed, "_Hola! _Señor Marston!"

He smiled and tipped his hat towards her. Helping with the resistance had turned him into a local celebrity in the province, but he just wanted to get away.

He put his hand to his mouth and whistled, a short couple of seconds later, a pristine Kentucky Saddler trotted up and came to his side. He quickly mounted the horse and began riding out of Chuparosa.

He eventually reached the wilderness, and continued riding through and out of Mexico. He finally crossed the bridge and into the United States, he finally reached the small town of Armadillo, and went into the saloon.

Ignoring the prostitutes that bothered him, he went to the counter.

"Whiskey." he rasped, the bartender pulling up a bottle and a small shot glass. The man poured it into the vessel, and he quickly swigged it.

He sat there for a moment, when a masculine voice came from outside.

"John! John! Come out here, quick!"

The bartender looked at him, Marston smirked and said, "It'll be a minute, friend."

The bounty hunter walked outside, pushing the gates to see a familiar face. It was a slightly large man, sitting in a stagecoach brandishing the name "N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir".

The old man hopped from the vehicle and looked at him with a smile. "John! I saw you coming here on your horse! I found something amazing! Quick! Come with me!" Dickens exclaimed.

"If it's another race, or you want me to sell more of your 'Patented Elixir', I want out of it." John mumbled irritably.

"No, it's not that. It's something strange, something amazing!"

"I came to Armadillo to rest, so I still want out of it..."

"Don't worry, it will take none of your time away! Quick, come!"

Shaking his head and swearing the con-man under his breath, John hopped up onto the side of the wagon. Nigel walking around and climbing in the driver's seat. He snapped the reigns quickly, loudly declaring, "We must make haste, John, I do not know how much longer it will stay around!"

"How long _what _will stay around?"

"I'm not sure, you'll just have to see it for yourself!"

With that, they moved out of Armadillo. John decided to take a nap, and, shortly, arrived at their destination.

Dickens nudged the bounty hunter in the side to wake him up, his eyes fluttered open, and he looked around.

"Why are we at Hanging Rock?"

This is where I found it. Quickly, John, we have to find it soon!"

The two men hopped from the carriage and walked towards the group of rocks.

They examined the landform together, but they saw nothing.

"I don't know what you're playin' at, Mr. West Dickens. What are you trying to get me to do?"

"No, I'm being serious. John, I implore you, just give it another look.

They checked again, nothing.

Marston was enraged. He pulled out his semi-automatic pistol and pointed it at Nigel's head. "You better tell me what the hell is going on before I put a bullet in your head!" he shouted angrily.

Dickens threw his hands in the air, "J-John, violence is never the answer, maybe if we're patient enough-"

"I don't care at this point. I just want to go back to Armadillo..." John pulled his sidearm back and put it in his holster. He then walked to the coach and got into the seat. Nigel followed suit, getting in the driver's seat and grabbing at the reigns.

He was about to snap at them when a blinding light distracted them. The two looked back at Hanging Rock to see a large, white, ovular object sitting in the air. John was confused, Nigel was smiling.

"That's it! I told you, John! I told you!" the old man shouted.

"Well, old man, I guess you were right."

But before either one could get out, the object rushed towards them. Even one with the fastest reflexes couldn't have gotten out of the way of it. It consumed the wagon, and the two men on it.

"Ugh...w-where am I?" John asked, regaining consciousness. He slowly opened his eyes to see a pink face staring at him with massive eyes.

He screamed rolling out of the way of the entity. Feeling himself regain his strength, he looked to see it was a...pony?

A pink pony, with a curly, magenta mane. John was staring in confusion, shock, and all sorts of other emotions.

"Hey, Mister! Who are you? What are you? How did you get here?" the pony shouted cheerfully.

"My God...are you a...a horse? Never mind that...You can _talk?_" John asked, dumbfounded.

"Well...yeah! Everypony can talk, silly!"

The bounty hunter was trying to let everything soak in, but it was just too bizarre of an occurrence for him to pass down. He began looking around him, he was on a stone path. Several more ponies were surrounding him, and he finally locked his eyes onto the cart and Dickens, who was laying on the ground.

"What's this...'N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir'?" one of them asked.

John hobbled over to the con artist. He slowly got up, Marston quickly running over to assist the old man. "Th-thank you, John, I should be fine. I just wonder how the coach survived the fall, and my-"

He turned around to see his horses were missing.

"Where are my horses! They're...gone! All that's there is the wagon, and hopefully..." he walked to the back and opened it up, the plethora of bottles and flasks lay before him.

"Okay, my elixir is safe, thank God." he mumbled to himself.

"I'm still curious as to what the hell is going on..." John said.

"Well, I can say this: Welcome to Equestria!" the pink pony exclaimed.

"Equestria?" John asked.

"Yeah! That's where you are, silly goose!"

"Well. I reckon I was in New Austin only a few minutes ago..."

"New Austin, where's that?"

"Um...the United States, where I _thought _I was. But I must've hit my head pretty hard. I have no idea what's going on after that...thing...hit us."

"Oh, I never did find out, what are you two's names?"

Nigel ran up to meet John and the pony, "My name is Nigel West Dickens! This is my associate, John Marston!" he declared proudly, before falling down.

"I think you should lay down for a minute, old man, you've taken quite a fall..." John muttered.

"Well, my name is Pinkie Pie!" she cheered.

"Pinkie...Pie...Well, I've come to a place full of colorful ponies, and one's name is Pinkie Pie. I ain't sure I'm right in the head right now, anywhere I can rest for a bit?"

"Sure! You can come inside the bakery, have some tea, and we'll talk about everything!"

Marston sighed, and nodded, grabbing Nigel and pulling him up from the ground. They then followed her into said bakery.

"Alright...so...let me get this straight...Whatever that...thing...was...sent us here, Equestria, some country full of colorful ponies of all kinds, and this is real..." John put his head in his hands, he had no idea what was going on.

"My God...I'm gonna lose my family because I got stuck in some place full of imaginary creatures..."

"Wait, what do you mean you're going to lose your family?" Pinkie asked worryingly.

"Okay, look, I may as well give you the full picture, 'Pinkie Pie'..."

He then went to explain as to why he was in New Austin, what he's done, and what he and Nigel experienced before being sent to Equestria.

"Oh...my...Celestia...you were in a gang? And you...killed...other...ponies?"

"Well, people, not ponies. But, yeah, it's a shameful thing."

The gleeful Earth pony was immediately sullen. "Look, could you at least find a way for us to get out of here?" John asked. Nigel quickly grabbed him, and pulled him towards him. "Wait, John." he whispered, "Perhaps, here, I could find some customers to buy my Patented Elixir! I'm sure a good plenty of these ponies have some sort of ailment!"

"Look, Mr. West Dickens, you can do that, but I want to get here. The last thing I want to do is do what I've been doin' with you, which, last time I reckon almost got us killed!" he snapped back.

"But what if we can't get out of here, we must make it worthwhile!"

John shook his head, he looked back at Pinkie, who was nervously clopping her hooves together. "Um...Pinkie?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with all this...But it seems that we can't get out of here, yet. If it's possible, is there anywhere we can get some warm food and a bed?"

"Well...I'm sure Twilight can help you out..."

The two men nodded, and they walked outside. That's when they were confronted by another problem, the coach.

He looked at Nigel, who just smiled with a ridiculous grin. "Oh, don't worry about me, you go find that 'Twilight' fellow, I'll find a way to get this thing moving!" he said.

"Thanks, for taking me here, Pinkie..." John mumbled as he looked in front of the tree-like building.

"Oh, no problem! Um...what was your name ag-" she replied.

"John, John Marston"

"Oh, well, no problem, John!"

With that, she turned around and walked away. John looked ahead and began walking to the building. He reached the door, bending down, he knocked on it.

A couple of seconds later, the top half swung open to reveal a lavender unicorn with a violet mane. But before he could say anything, she screamed.

Shortly later, she walked back up to him with a massive grin, "Oh-...Oh my Celestia, a real human!" she exclaimed.

"Um...yeah...now-"

"Where are you from? How did you get here? Are there more humans with you? Can you-"

"Look, Friend, the only reason I'm here is because your friend...Pinkie Pie...lead me here. All those questions can be answered, but I just need to rest for a bit."

"Oh, why...yes! Of course! Come in!"

She opened the door completely to let him in, he was a tall man, though, so he had to crawl in, and even in the vastness of the library, he was still very tall.

After he had gotten settled down, Twilight's barrage of questions continued.

"Okay." he cut her off in her ramble. "My name is John Marston, I'm a bounty hunter that was staying in New Austin, and, well, Mexico. Last time I reckon, the year was 1911. I was sent there to hunt down a man I used to roll in a gang with, name's Bill Williamson. My family was threatened a-"

"Wait, did you say 'gang'?"

"Yes, now I don't want to go all on what happened and what I did, but I was shot and left for dead."

"Oh...Um...Well I-..."

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I just want to rest for a bit."

"Well, that's fine, but after that, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"We, as in Ponyville, have been having some problems with criminals, seeing that this is what you do, maybe you can help us after you rest."

"Well, I guess I don't have much else to do here, so what harm can catching a few crooks do?"

"Great, I guess we can start tomorrow!"

"Yeah, sure."

John smiled and nodded, Twilight returning the gesture.

_**A/N:**_

_**Maybe not a great start to the story, but it's the worse thing I do when it comes to writing. So, what should be expected? Nigel West Dickens trying to con the residents of Ponyville out of their money with his elixir? John Marston being sent to hunt down ruthless outlaws? What's going to happen? You never know. Give it a chance!**_

_**But there is a bit of a reason I did this:**_

_**I love Metroid, but I've been logging hours of time into Red Dead Redemption recently, so I decided, "Why not give it a shot?" I have mentioned before that I was going to write a fic. Who knows, I may be the first to write a Red Dead X My Little Pony story, I doubt it, but I might. And, another question, why Nigel West Dickens? **_

_**Well, aside from the fact that watching him in all of those cutscenes is hilarious, I find him to be one of the few **__**normal**_ _**characters I have encountered from the U.S., the other two being Marshal Leigh Johnson and Bonnie MacFarlane. Seth is a creepy son-of-a-bitch and Irish is just some crazy drunk that robs nuns...**_

_**Oh well, enjoy!**_


	2. Chapter 2: New Jobs And New Problems

Welcome to Equestria, Friend by TehAlphaGamer

_**NOTE: I do not own rights to either franchises. Red Dead Redemption is owned by Rockstar® and Rockstar San Diego®, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro®. Used without permission.**_

_**Chapter Two: New Jobs...And New Problems**_

About thirty minutes later, John decided that he would sleep for a little bit. He looked across the small reading table to see Twilight observing him with astonishment. And he asked, "Hey, you know, it's been a helluva time since I'm still tryin' to get everything straight, so, do you mind if I get some shuteye for a bit?"

She moved from her trance, and said, "Oh! Why...Yes! I'll lead you upstairs to the guest room!"

She sprung up, the bounty hunter following suit and walking with her upstairs. But before he could get to the top, he was met by a small, purple creature, staring at him with wide eyes.

"I-...I-...Uh..." it stammered. Twilight laughed nervously and said, "Oh, Spike, I haven't introduced you yet. This is John Marston, he's a bounty hunter from...Where did you say?"

"New Austin, though I've travelled to several places." Marston replied.

"Right...And...as you can see...he's a...human..."

John stuck his hand out, and said, "It's a pleasure." Spike was simply awestruck, and just stared at him. The bounty hunter laughed, and pulled his hand away.

"Well, I reckon I'll see you later on. Anyways, Twilight, 'you mind showing me where this guest room is?"

"Oh, yes, of course!" she replied, and the two walked around the baby dragon, who turned around and continued staring at him.

She led him into the room. It was a quaint little chamber, with a small bed, a wardrobe, and a dresser, as well as the portrait of Starswirl the Bearded mounted on the wall. The librarian bowed her head in a regal manner, as to let the man in. He bent down, and patted her on the back of the neck before walking towards the bed.

"Do you not want to get into something more comfortable?" she asked as he laid down in it, his legs went over the edge, but at that point, he could've cared less.

"Nah...I'll be fine...I'm just gonna lay down for a few hours." he responded.

"Well, alright then!"

With that, she walked out of the room and closed the door. John closed his eyes, and went to sleep.

After what he thought was a few hours, he woke up to see the pony still staring at him. He got up from the small bed, and looked back at her, asking "Twilight, why the hell do you keep doing that?"

She blinked and looked up, "Oh! Oops...Heheh...sorry, John. Anyways...rise and shine!"

"What? How long have I been asleep?" he asked.

"Oh...I'd say about...eleven...twelve hours..."

"What? Shit..."

"John! Language!"

"Who are you, my mother? Anyways...hang on...just...let me get up..."

He rose from the bed, grunting in pain, he felt his back to feel the Springfield Rifle still strapped to his back. "Well...looks like we'll have to go now..." he murmured.

"You don't want any breakfast?" the purple filly asked.

"No, I'll be fine."

"Well...alright..."

He quickly got up, dusting himself off and following the pony downstairs and eventually outside.

John walked calmly down the road, Twilight Sparkle accompanying him. The new day had been quite empty, with no one else really walking around.

"Twilight, where're these criminals you was talkin' about yesterday?" he asked as he walked down the street.

"You mean where are these criminals you _were _talking about, John." she corrected him.

He stopped, turned to his side, and glared at the filly, "Please. It's enough that I'm stuck in some place that I ain't ever heard of or been to. I don't need somebody correcting me on everything I say."

Twilight blushed. "Oh, um, sorry..."

"It's fine, I'm just curious as to where these criminals you're speaking of are."

"Well, John, Ponyville isn't as small of a town as you think it is. They could be anywhere, even-"

"HELP! SOMEPONY HELP!" the voice interrupted the librarian. The two looked around to see a cream Earth pony mare with a red mane staring in horror down the road. They quickly ran up to her, John bent down and asked, "What happened, Ma'am?"

"That stallion just robbed me! You have to stop him!" she screamed in response, pointing her hoof down the road.

Marston turned to see a black-and-white unicorn stallion running, a heavily stuffed saddlebag at his side. He began running towards the pony, Twilight trying to keep up.

He turned to see her, and said, "This ain't gonna be pretty, I suggest you hold back."

With that, he pulled the Springfield Rifle from the holster on his back. The lavender unicorn shouting, "Wait, John, what are you doing?"

"Like I said, Friend, I suggest you hold back!"

He closed his eyes, and cleared his conscious, all that he thought of was an empty space. He slowly opened his eyes, everything around him seemed to be in slow motion. He was calm, and all that he saw in his way was his target. He centered his focus upon the stallion's right hind-leg, and brought up his rifle.

He smiled. _Today is not your day, Friend, _he thought to himself, and he fired. The brass shell exploded from the muzzle, sailing through the air. Continuing until it finally found its target. It sliced and burrowed its way into the robber's soft flesh. He roared in pain as it finally flew out and into the ground.

John dropped his concentration, and stopped as reality came back his way. He smiled as he saw the bleeding unicorn crumble to the ground. He ran up to him, pulling out a rope, he wrapped it around his legs, and tightened it. He grabbed the stallion and put him into a Fireman's Carry, and walked back to the mare. "I think this is yours, Miss." he chortled, laying him down in front of her.

He looked around to see, instead of impressed, several mortified ponies staring at him. He pivoted around and looked down to see Twilight Sparkle staring at him with large, teary eyes.

"H-how...how could you?" she stifled.

He chuckled, "As you can see, we come from two different worlds, Twilight. In New Austin, well, pretty much everywhere in this case. If you got a thief, you either kill 'em, or you capture 'em."

He turned around to see the shopkeeper, who just nodded and weakly mouthed _Thank you._

He laughed, tipping her hat towards her and saying, "Now you have a good day, Ma'am."

Twilight was still trying to understand who would just do...whatever he just did...to stop that burglar. "Well...I-I suppose we can just continue, just...don't do..._that_...again. Violence isn't really appreciated in these parts."

Marston rolled his eyes and nodded her off. Then, worry started to come to him. The studious mare noticed his look, and asked, "What's wrong, John?"

"Well, I think it's best if we check on Mr. West Dickens. God knows what that man is doing..." he laughed.

She stopped in her pace, "'God'? What's 'God'?" she inquired.

"Um...ruler of the universe? That whole story? Didn't you ever go to church as a kid?"

"O~oh! You must mean Princess Celestia!"

John shook his head, "Yeah, whatever..."

They continued walking down the street, nothing else seemed to have happened. However, they began to notice a crowd building up by Town Hall. Speeding up their pace, John and Twilight ran over to see what was going on. Sure enough, a large stagecoach sat in front of it, brandishing the name 'N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir'.

They walked through the crowd, besides a teal unicorn bragging about humans actually existing, everyone was silent. They looked ahead, where a man, most likely in his mid-sixties, with a decent suit and a top hat, stood behind a table with various bottles.

"Looks like we found Mr. West Dickens." Marston mumbled to Twilight Sparkle before he began speaking.

With a smile, Nigel began, "Friends! Hard working souls of...Uh...Er...Oh, Ponyville! Gather round, gather round."

He motioned the ponies to move closer, then asked, "Do you suffer from Rheumatism? Lumbago? Acute, chronic, sciatic, neurologic, or inflammatory pain?"

A few nods in the crowd, but besides that, a silent group.

"Well, I represent the only company that makes the Genuine Article. That cures headaches, neuralgia, earache, toothaches, backaches, swellings, sprains, sore chest, swelling of the throats, contracted cords, and muscles, anxieties, and ravaged nerves, stiff joints, wrenches, dislocations, cuts and bruises! And, it adds vitality and vigor to the healthy man...Oh! And also, in this case, woman!"

He grabbed one of the bottles, and unscrewed the cap. "Would any of you care for a sample?"

John felt like coming up to prevent any problems the old fellow may cause, but he wanted to see where this goes. Almost instantaneously, the same teal unicorn from earlier rose her hoof and began waving it frantically.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" she kept on calling. Nigel smiled, he raised a crooked finger and said, "You! The mint-green one in the crowd! Come up here!"

She pointed her hoof at herself, and asked, "Me?"

"Yes, you! Come up here, quickly!" he responded, motioning his hand back.

She shoved everypony in her way outwards, and quickly trotted up to him.

He observed her for a moment to get an understanding of her sex, then asked, "Young lady, what's your name?"

She didn't respond, she simply said, "Wow! A real human! And Bon Bon said I was crazy!" with a quiet snicker.

"Um...Yes, I am a human, now, what is your name?"

"Oh! Right...My name is Lyra...Lyra Heartstrings."

"Well, Lyra Heartstrings, have you ever had any such ailment that would request the use of this fine medicine?"

"Well...I do have this knot in my back...B-"

"Well then, with just a quick drink of this miraculous beverage, that painful knot in your back will turn into a blissful feeling of a million angel kisses!"

Smiles and conversations were traded amongst each other in the crowd. John laughed, and crossed his arms, Twilight was confused. "Can all this really happen?" she asked.

The ex-bandit looked down at her and lamented, "You'll see, just wait..."

Nigel lowered the bottle of tonic down to the mare, who grasped it with her magic. The "Salesman" was fascinated, but continued to see her down the liquid in only a few seconds. She immediately regretted the taste, but had already drank the bottle dry.

In between coughs, she asked, "Do all life-saving, miracle cures taste this bad?"

"My fair lady, 1911 is a very limiting time! Not everything can taste good, no matter how it alleviates the effects!" West Dickens declared proudly.

"Well...last time I remember it was 1001, but ok-" she stopped in her sentence, her look of confusion turned into one of panic and fright. Frantically looking around, she asked, "Oooh...Where's the little filly's room when you need it?"

A couple pointed to a nearby outhouse, the mare quickly sprinting towards it, and slamming the door shut.

Nigel began to build up a nervous sweat. He removed his hat to wipe off some of the perspiration before continuing. "N-Now...This tonic does have some...minor side-effects, that shouldn't outweigh the b-"

"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

The scream came from the nearby stall that Lyra had entered. The crowd began staring in its direction. John shook his head, he knew what was happening.

Trying to divert the attention back to him, the con-artist stuttered, "N-Now...while these side-effects seem serious, they should pose as no pr-"

"O-OH CELESTIA! IT'S EVERYWHERE!"

"Wh-While an abrupt and violent movement of the bowels is the most serious effect, I assure you tha-"

"WHERE'S ALL THE TOILET PAPER? SOMEPONY HELP!"

John shook his head sullenly, he walked up to Nigel, patted him on the back, and said, "I think you should try again, Old Man, 'seems that you're miracle tonic just doesn't sit well in these ponies..."

"R-Right...Thank you...Mr. Marston..." he replied.

"Well, you go do that, I'm gonna go check on that 'Lyra' fellow..."

With that, he walked over to the outhouse, which had began radiating a foul, foul smell. He knocked on the door.

"U-Ugh...what do you want?" a tired voice came from the stall.

"Miss...are you alright?"

The door opened slightly to have her head pop out, she look exhausted, and grumbled, "I feel like that time when I was a little filly and I drank a big glass of my grandma's prune juice...Wait...another human?"

A massive grin spread across her face, Marston laughed, and said, "Um...Yeah...Anyways...That tells you to listen to some strange fella in a suit and top hat, Friend."

"Heh...yeah...I guess you're right...because it looks like nopony's gonna be using this toilet for a while...Actually...do you got any toilet paper on you?" she asked.

"Do I look like I got any toilet paper?"

"Yeah...I guess you're right...but my tail and flank would be a messy sight if I didn't have anything to clean it up."

The smell and Lyra's description didn't help his stomach. "Uh...Look...I'll get you some help..."

"Thanks..."

The teal pony closed the door, and John turned around. Nigel had finished putting away his diarrhea-inducing elixir. John ignored him, and looked at Twilight, who was staring nervously in his direction.

"Is-...Is she going to be okay?" she asked.

"She's gonna be fine, she just needs some toilet paper..." he responded with a straight expression.

"Okay...Wait...This is happening way too fast. First, you shoot a robber in the ankle, tie him up, and give him to Roseluck to let her to Celestia-knows-what to him. And now your friend is giving this liquid that makes ponies have a...messy...incident..."

"First off, that..._idiot_ is not my friend, alright? The only reason I even know him is because I found him, and then made me travel all over New Austin to find out that Bill Williamson had left for Mexico that morning! I do what I do best to solve problems, don't you?"

"Yeah...But does that mean I kill others to get my way? No! Do I rob people that are perfectly ordinary just to make myself happy? No!"

"We robbed the rich and undeserving and gave to the poor and needy! And, even then, I'm on the other side of the law now!"

"But that doesn't fix what you've already done!"

John then pulled his Semi-Automatic Pistol from his holster and pointed it at Twilight's head.

"I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO BECAUSE I WAS TAUGHT THAT WAY! OKAY?"

The filly cowered from the device, then came back up.

"'Other side of the law' my purple flank!"

He stopped, and stared at her, he put his gun away, and slumped to the ground. He put his head in his hands.

He looked back up at her, and felt his face, the first tear he had shed in a long, long time.

"Look, Twilight. I'm sorry for blowing up like this. Look, my family's being threatened with death because I had to hunt down this man I used to roll in a gang with, Bill Williamson, I later found he was staying with another man I knew, Javier Escuella, and now I can't see my wife and son anymore because I got stuck here for some reason. But I'm nothin' but a bounty hunter in a dying time, and now I have to hunt down these men, which now I can't do. Do you understand what I'm sayin'?"

She looked up at him, and stammered, "Yeah...I'm really...sorry...I didn't know that your wife and son were being threatened...Well...Actually...I think I may know somepony who could help us out, follow me back to my library."

"Well, alright, I guess..."

Shortly later, they arrived back at the library, and the studious filly led the gunman upstairs. She took him to a desk, and brought up a quill, a piece of parchment, and a bottle of ink.

"We're gonna send a letter?" John asked, confused.

"Yeah!" Twilight responded cheerfully.

"Well...to who? How far do they live away?"

"Canterlot, I'm going to send a letter to Princess Celestia!"

"Princess Celestia? Isn't she like...your...God...or somethin' like that?"

"Well, kind of...you'll see, I'm just going to answer if she can teleport us over to her."

"Teleport? Why doesn't she just come to us?"

"She only likes doing it on occasion, she doesn't really like always going so far and go through a massive crowd of cheering ponies, she likes solitude at this time of the day."

"Well...I guess that'd make sense. But why're you sendin' it to her if she likes bein' by herself at this time of the day?"

"It's just...Well...You'll see..."

John shrugged and watched as she called for Spike. The baby dragon ran over to her, and she handed him the stationary, she began speaking.

"_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_This may sound really, and I mean really crazy. But...you know those Old-Pony Tales about humans? The hairless apes that talk and wear clothes? Somehow, two of those came here from a place called 'New Austin', one was this eccentric, old man by the name of 'Nigel West Dickens', one who gave Lyra this tonic that caused her to have a-"_

She turned around to face John, "Oh...we forgot to give Lyra that toilet paper, didn't we?"

"We can worry about it later, just keep writin' this letter."

"Okay..." she cleared her throat, and continued.

"_That caused her to have a...mess...Anyways, there's also this other man, whom I'm standing next to right now, named 'John Marston', he's a bounty hunter that has quite a story, and the reason I've written you this letter is because I ask that you can teleport us to you so you can talk with him. The Friendship Express is going to be too small for him to fit, so I just ask that you can talk with him. Thank you._

_Your Faithful Student,_  
_Twilight Sparkle"_

With that, Spike took the letter and materialized it into thin air with his fire. Marston looked at her and asked, "What now?"

"We just wait for a respo-" she was cut off as Spike regurgitated a rolled up piece of parchment in her direction. It hit the floor, and she picked it up. And read it, she then lowered it and looked at John with a smile.

"So...yes?"

She nodded, and a few seconds later. A white glow appeared to spread over John.

He noticed, and he started freaking out. "W-What the hell is going on?" he shouted.

"She's trying to send you to her, just wait!" she exclaimed.

He still remained frantic as the glow continued to consume him, he just looked at her with one last look of fear, before materializing completely.

A while later, he came back into the physical world. But he was somewhere new.

It was a beautiful room, with white, brick lined walls and floors, red, velvety rugs, and two thrones, surrounded by statue-like guards. One was a large, white-and-gold seat, the other was a smaller, black-and-blue seat. But the larger throne was accompanied by someone.

It was another pony, but it was much larger. At least twice the size of any other he had seen before, she had a long, sharp horn, with wings tucked at her sides. Golden horseshoes and a collar, finally finished by a beautiful, golden tiara at the top of her head. Her wavy, multi-color mane blowing behind her despite the lack of wind.

The mare had finally noticed the man in her presence, and said, "Oh! You have made it!"

John was still staring at the beautiful creature, who had slowly risen from her seat, and walked up to him. "You must be John Marston, no?"

He snapped out of his trance, "Oh! Um...Y-Yeah...that's me...I suppose I have to give you my whole st-"

"Oh, that's quite alright, John, I can see, and hear everything. I know how you and that odd Mr. West Dickens fellow came here. While he did, you came here by no accident..."

"What? What do you mean?" John was confused.

"Well, I this can all be explained easily, but first, let me introduce myself. I am Princess Celestia, I co-rule this land with my younger sister, Luna. I raise the sun, while she lowers the moon. And, the reason why you're here is because, well, I don't know exactly how, let alone _why_, but the crime-rate has spiked, not just in Ponyville, but in several places around Equestria: Appleoosa, Manehatten, and even here, in Canterlot. I know humans aren't a myth, and I know of your issue, and I can assure you-"

"Then can you send me back so I don't have to blame you for getting my wife and son killed?" John interrupted.

"Don't worry, John, but, I can't send you back."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I used a spell to summon the most famous person ever in the Western Hemisphere. Landon Ricketts was a good candidate, but he seemed too old and I didn't want to hurt him. You came up, and, also, I have no control over that portal, now anyone can find it, and enter it."

"First off, 'Princess Celestia', I don't see who the hell drilled it into your head that you can just break into our daily lives and pull us just because you need us to solve your own problems. But, whoever it is, you need to teach 'em a lesson. You just opened up a portal in one of the most dangerous places in my world, and you could care less! Because you're as smart as an actual horse, and couldn't even think for yourself-"

"Now you listen here, Mr. Marston! I'm sorry that you had to be picked for this, but we really need the help! Can you understand that?"

"Can you understand that my family's life is on the line because of you now, if it isn't already?"

"I promise, I will send you back when you finish your job, but I need the h-"

"You promise? YOU PROMISE? I DON'T NEED ANYMORE GODDAMN PROMISES, PRINCESS!"

The guards began to surround the two, John was now inches from Celestia's face.

"Please, John! I beg of you! You have to help us!"

He glared at the princess, pointing at her, he asked, "You swear, that you will, not even let me back, but help me hunt down these outlaws?"

"I will try to do whatever I can, just...please...help us..."

"Hm...In that case...fine...But if anything happens to my family because I'm gone-"

"I know, I'll try my best to make sure nothing happens."

John stared at her for a few seconds, and asked, "Anyone I have to do this with?"

"You can have whatever help you want."

"Fine..."

"Thank you! Thank you, John!"

"Yeah, whatever..."

_**A/N:**_

_**I hope that wasn't too emotional or something, like that "Additional Tag" at the bottom of the description implies, this will be funny at times, but generally serious. The whole Patented Elixir incident, funny, Marston pointing a gun at Twilight, serious. You can kind of understand that. If it's too problematic, please tell me, and I'll change what needs to be changed. If it's just a big problem in general, I'll rewrite the thing. **_

_**I always accept critique and ideas, so please give them if you have any :P**_


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